As a society, we seem to obsess over age. We tend to worship youth and youthfulness. Except for perhaps our own grandparents, we too often disregard what others can do or contribute – simply because of their age. Consider these few questions we routinely hear or encounter:
1. Is 82 too old to be President?
2. Is 97 too old to lead a church with millions of members worldwide?
3. When do we begin to encounter age discrimination – in our 40’s or 50’s?
Granted, our bodies and minds deteriorate as we age, although at rates that differ from person to person. Nevertheless, instead of looking at where an individual’s physical and mental well-being is, too often we judge everyone simply on the basis of age. It seems ingrained in our culture.
Having just turned 75, I have experienced this type of stereotypical treatment many times. Granted such stereotyping is more minimalized in my case, as others say I look 20-30 years younger than my age. However, hearing that one has reached a certain age too often triggers preconceived notions of “there has to be something lacking in him because of his age.”
I am here to declare that “age is indeed relative.” It is not one’s age that should be the defining criteria of judging what a person lacks or can do; but how well he or she functions at whatever age one may be. There are two factors to consider in coming to appreciate that “age is relative”. First is how we view ourselves. Secondly is how we view others.
VIEWING OURSELVES: Are we one of those people who define themselves based upon their age; such as “I’m too old to do that”, “I shouldn’t do that at my age” or “I am too past my prime to learn something new.” With such attitudes, then we become “too old for that,” “too unwilling to do that,” and “too past our prime to learn something new.”
We ought to consider our journey thru this life (also referred to as mortality) as one of continually acquiring new knowledge, pushing ourselves gently to do more than we thought capable; and caring for the gift of this sacred body and spirit with which we have been blessed.
There is no one formula for changing our own “age” prejudice. But I have found that the daily practice of Tai Chi Yoga helps us maintain a youthful perspective. It keeps our minds more fully engaged. We can focus and concentrate better. We feel better, despite the nagging aches and pains that come with aging. Most importantly, as I have said before, we feel better while we do Tai Chi Yoga; not just after.
There is a sense of inner victory that comes with being able to do many things physically that those 30-40 years younger can no longer do; that comes with still being mentally sharp and engaged; that comes with being able to defy limits society seeks to impose upon us. As Tai Chi Yoga helps us change our own age prejudice, it is also the starting point for judging more favorably others.
VIEWING OTHERS: As we learn to realize that “age can be relative” in our own lives, it can change how we view others. Because Tai Chi Yoga has helped us learn to focus on “what we can do” in our own life instead of “how old we are,” this newfound sense of freedom becomes something we want to apply to others. We now want to view another more from the prism of how they think, act, and live – and less from the prism of how old they may be.
Yes, I get it. Dementia is more common as we age. Physical deterioration creeps into our lives with each passing day. But do we, therefore, allow that to cause us to shrink from pursuing new dreams, from taking new chances, and from helping others? We don’t apply for that job? We don’t write that book. We don’t go to that new class.
One of the core principles of Tai Chi Yoga is being gentle and kind; gentle and kind with how we treat our own bodies and minds; gentle and kind in how we judge others. There is a quote I love from an unknown author: “Be kind – for everyone is fighting a hard battle.” So let’s not make life harder than it is by automatically judging others through an “age-only” prism. Age becomes relative when we make Tai Chi Yoga a daily part of our lives – at any age.